Happy New Year!
In my last post, I talked about some of the activities that can help me back to "normalcy" when I'm in the midst of depression. I hope that some of you who've been reading along have come up with a few of those in your own lives as well.
I mentioned, though, that there are times when--even though I know I need to--I can't get myself to actually DO any of the things that will help. When that happens, it's important for me to have people, friends and family, who can and will step in.
Now, it is important to note here that depression doesn't only affect the people who actually struggle with it. The people who love us suffer, too. It's not the same, certainly, but I find that I can be remarkably selfish in pretending that I'm the only one who's hurting. So never take for granted the people who care for you; I know that I do that too often.
Anyway, I need to have people who know me, who know what "normal" looks like, what the "trouble signs" are, and who give enough of a crap to help. I've been unspeakably fortunate to have many such people in most of the stages of my life where I needed them.
Help looks different in different circumstances, and sometimes there's not much to be done but simply be willing to sit with me and let me know I'm not alone.
If you don't have people like that in your life, I cannot overstate the benefits to your heart and soul to letting people in and letting them love you. It is difficult for most people--myself included--to really let down the walls and really be open and vulnerable with others. But if you find a person or a few you can truly trust, it is very much worth it. It's risky (relationships always are!), but it can bring so much good to you. And to them.
If you're someone who doesn't suffer directly from depression, realize that it's hard to ask for help. Know that it is a huge step of trust when someone shares their pain with you. I know it's hard to deal with us at times, but we need you, and even if/when we fail to tell you how much it means to us, you're making a difference.
Randy, Thank you for sharing this important issue; trust and depression. My question to you is: How much does anger contribute to depression? Can the breaking of trust result in anger which could become an underlying cause of depression (and vise versa)?
ReplyDeleteAuntie Carrie,
ReplyDeleteI think anger and depression can be pretty significantly linked. For myself, anger was often a cover up for depression, because it was something I could control; If I felt bad, I might blow up about something totally different, so that no one would know how I really felt.
But I could definitely see a breaking of trust being an underlying cause of depression. I could also depression making a breaking of trust even more significant than it would normally be.